NO MORE A PRINCESS…
by wohl1917
Summary: She was no longer the Sole Heir the Throne of The Millennial Queen, Maeteru La Andromeda Promethium, ruler of the Mechanized Empire. The question was that now that she was free of her duty, her obligation, could she develop the will to live for herself?
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

She knew of many fates worse than the merciful death at the end of a finite human life. On the rails that encapsulated her eternal life of duty and obligation, she was condemned to one. She was doomed to brief moments of happiness between tears, experiencing joy vicariously and to have the memories of it all engraved on her heart forever and ever. Her name was Maetel.

On a high hill, overlooking a river flowing to the sea, Maetel watched the sun set on her sorrowful memories. She was a Metalian Girl, keeping her promises, but she couldn't help thinking that she could still have a life, somewhere else. After all, it was a great big universe, with lots of places to go to, and since she couldn't die trying, she had one more promise she was going to keep. If only she could chase her dreams and live for herself….

It was kind of cold that night, walking alone toward her fate. She knew she was doomed to fade away and begin her journey yet again. She could hear a train outside, in the far-off sky, on the rails of destiny and thought, 'If only it could be mine….' Then, in one precious moment, 'He' swept back in her memory and said, "Maetel, its painful when you're so close, yet still so far out of reach…. The train is waiting. Its waiting: waiting there for you. Now run to it… run to it Maetel: run to it!"

And she did. But even as she ran, there was nagging feeling in her heart that she couldn't explain or understand…. She _had_ completed her mission, and somehow, she still felt like a traitor running away. Emeraldas had said: 'Our journeys have no end…' and yet hers had! What had begun as a promise, a duty and obligation was over. Still, she wasn't prepared for and couldn't explain the confusion in her heart, so she set it aside thinking, "I'll deal with that tomorrow." It was a tomorrow that for her would never come.

Simply put: she was unprepared to let it go. The reality of her decision didn't hit all at once, but crept up in the little things. It had been a long time since she'd been 'mortal' for lack of a better word…. While she hadn't been 'immortal', she'd been much more than merely human. During her Coronation Ceremony, the Symbiosis Memory Storage Unit had changed her at a molecular level. But now, the things it had done to her no longer functioned, or at least they didn't function as intended and none of it could be undone. It affected her perception of reality more than she could now know or comprehend.

The second thing was that the body she'd been using was now hers. But now she wasn't sure that it hadn't been hers all along. While it, 'she', was young, strong and at the peak of her beauty, suddenly her hair no longer fell perfectly into place anymore. On her eternal journey she'd maintained it by eating, taking showers and baths as a matter of convention: a small enjoyment. But now she needed to, had to and sometimes couldn't for days on end. Now, when 'it' was cold or hot, so was she. Now, when it was hungry or tired, _she_ was oh so hungry and tired. The reality of these things and a thousand and one other little things suddenly became real issues for her to deal with.

Next was the suitcase that her mother had given her: her inheritance. It had been dimensional, relative in time and space, having in it whatever she'd needed to have in it. Now, it only contained her communicator, one of her two dresses, two of three sets of undergarments, her bathing suit, wrap, toiletries (to include an all important hair brush), two of her three guns and/or her whip-sword and a small amount of hard currency: the remains of her last Galaxy Express stipend.

But the single most important fact of her new existence was that she was no longer a Princess. She was no longer the Sole Heir the Throne of The Millennial Queen, Maeteru La Andromeda Promethium, ruler of the Mechanized Empire. Now, she was simply 'Citizen' Maetel, a disparaging but descriptive term for her as a refugee. She was a displaced person whose mere presence was often resented and unwelcome. This was driven home to her ruthlessly on a daily basis. Finally to add insult to injury, she'd found that her accounts had been frozen.

'Money is not so important until you have none…' she realized. The little jewelry she had on, her weapons, her suitcase, its contents and her train pass was everything she had.

Still, as bad as all this was, the single most terrible thing of all was that now Maetel was alone and without a purpose: she had lived, but she had no _reason_ to live…. 'I'm not Emeraldas, to do as I please,' she thought. She hadn't conceived that something as basic as living for herself could be such an issue, but for her it was. Promethium, having taken her soul-ring, had left her unable to deal with the day to day business of living. That part of herself that controlled her outer emotions and not a small part of her will had been taken. Maetel couldn't fight and couldn't surrender: she was trapped in a life without purpose.

Alone in this confused, wounded state she left the only home she had ever known: La Metal. When Leopard had ordered her deportation so long ago he'd told her, "No royalty is needed in the new La Metal!" Even if 'He', Nazca, hadn't told her to get on the train, she would have done so on her own. Whatever her new life was to be she thought, it would have to start fresh somewhere else.

On the train, she had nothing but time to think about where she could go and what she could do. She thought of going to Earth and Tetsuro. She cared for him and knew that he loved her. She knew that he was _in love_ with her…. She knew he would welcome her with open arms without a question or a second thought. She also knew it would be wrong. As much as she wanted her life, he deserved his: he'd earned it! Ultimately, she really was content to live on only in his memory, an illusion of his young man's heart, a dream of his youth.

What she needed was a quiet place where she could live a simple life. There were many worlds to choose from, places where she could live, where she could find someone, marry, and perhaps even have a family of her own…. Such things had never been a thought to her before. The question was that now that she was free of her duty, her obligation, could she develop the will to live for herself? With these thoughts and more weighing heavily on her mind, she slept and she dreamed.

On her eternal journey she hadn't dreamed: immortality was like that she'd supposed. But it seemed that now she carried the memories, the dreams of a thousand years. She never had the same dream, the same way twice. More often than not, what she had was a disjointed jumble of images, confused, incongruent, out of sequence and meaning, meaningless except in the horror and pain they sometimes caused her.

She dreamed of her sister Emeraldas often, who in these dreams sometimes, somehow, wasn't her sister. In these dreams, their story, all of the stories, were profoundly different. She couldn't explain it, but she knew _that somehow they were all true_! She didn't know how or why and not knowing, caused her to question her sanity. But there was one constant in her dreams: her story and Nazca's part in it. He'd died fighting Promethium. He'd died fighting for the future. He'd died for her, she loved him and his memory kept her sane….

She dreamed of Mel, a girl whose face she could only imagine. A girl whose last words had been, 'I want to remain human.' Nazca had loved her so much that he'd tried to single handedly overthrow the Empire for love and loss. There, in the engine room of the Harlock's Death Shadow, with his story of Mel and his unwavering answer to her question, "If my mother is still alive, what will you do?" Nazca had said without hesitation, "I'll fight of course!" And with those few words, he had captured Maetel's heart forever and a day.

Hardgear's evil laughing face flowed through her dreams like a torrent, but the feeling, the anger, that welled up inside her at the thought of him was terrifying! It was a blemish, a spot of darkness on her heart: an unquenched, unquenchable desire for vengeance….

The only time that part of her ever rose to surface was the moment she'd thought Tetsuro was lost to her in 'The Flow of Time'. In that moment there was nothing she wouldn't have done, nothing that was beyond her rage and the memory of it frightened her. It was a subjective moment in her otherwise objective life, countered only by her love for Nazca.

She dreamed of her mother, the loving woman she had been and the mechanized misery she'd become. She dreamed of her father who she had lost not once, but twice. She dreamed of Laurela who had sacrificed herself for the future believing her past sins to be unforgivable. She dreamed of Arina, the android, who'd given her life saving humanity, mourned for who she was, not what she was.

She dreamed of everyone who had passed her way, who they were, and the parts they'd played in her eternal journey. Their pains and sufferings were as real to her now as they had been to them then. And like her journey it went on, and on, and on the same but different every time. The memories would drive her down into the depths of confusion and despair but Nazca, always Nazca, would come to lift her up and give her the courage to go on, to never give up, to never surrender….

As bad as her dreams were, waking up was often worse. She often woke up ill with hunger, but most times she woke at being poked, prodded or jostled by something or someone. This was something that she'd never had to deal with before: being 'handled' and 'touched' by strangers…. It wasn't so much that she minded, as Emeraldas certainly would have, but that these people obviously didn't mind: they thought nothing of it at all!

'This is how 'regular people' live,' Maetel realized, 'crowded together without personal space: pushed, prodded, touched…. I must accept this as well.'

The commuter trains on which she was compelled to travel rarely had bathrooms, dining cars or conductors. While the stations had clean restrooms, generally, they rarely offered more than vending machines with selections of empty calories. So, by necessity, with her suitcase she would go out onto the street hoping for a Hole-in-the-Wall restaurant, food vendor of some kind and/or a bath house outside the station or close by.

Sometimes, even this wasn't possible. While on the train and in the stations she was protected by Galactic Law, but planet-side she was on her own. She often faced an unreasoned, baseless contempt for simply being alive: for having survived the fall of Empire. She was defenseless against that hate…. She was charged, tried, convicted and condemned by people who didn't care if she were guilty or not.

Then one day, travel-weary and shivering; kneeling on a sidewalk with her suitcase, her hair disheveled, her clothes wrinkled, eating from a low end Binto box, the unblinking eye of a paparazzo's camera caught her in mid-bite. She was very unhappy about it but, what was she to do? 'Citizen' Maetel did the only thing she felt she could do: she swallowed her bitterness and vowed to never let anyone see her cry. She simply ignored him and finished eating while the shutter clicked.

When she'd finished, she looked the photographer in the eye, thanked and embarrassed him. He was so taken aback that he offered to delete the pictures saying that, "Beauty, should be shot beautifully." At that Maetel smiled. She remembered Tetsuro saying that same thing to her once. But Maetel said "No" adding, "I am just a Citizen, a regular person now…." She then went into the station and boarded her train. She'd thanked him because he'd helped her make a decision as to where she would go to try to live out the rest of her life….

In the entire universe there really was only one place where she knew she could live in peaceful obscurity: 'The Planet of Tomorrow'. She and Tetsuro had almost been forced to stay there once, or many times perhaps, she couldn't remember now…. She'd thought then, and said as much that they, that _she_ , would have been happy there. That she would have and could have been happy to just live as Hoshino Meiko, Tetsuro-kun's sister…. And so her new journey began.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

Maetel awoke to the sound of an ocarina echoing endlessly in her mind. She'd had a tragic and sad dream of Emeraldas, Tochero Oyama and a child they'd had together, a daughter named Mayu! For them, in this dream at least, it had been love at first sight. Even so Maetel thought how inconvenient being pregnant must been for Emeraldas…. It was a profoundly different and confusing dream for would-be Auntie Maetel. She shook it off looked up, around and found herself in an empty train car.

When she'd closed her eyes it had been packed with commuters. But now she was alone with a cramp in her wrist: even in sleep she'd maintain a firm grip on her suitcase. She didn't know where she was. The chime hadn't woken her and so she'd missed the pre-recorded announcement. Turning, she looked out through the window and read the sign which said "Miriam Station". She didn't recognize the name off hand but, 'Surely', she thought, 'I must have been here before….'

Being a Commuter Train this stop, no matter how long, would be short in comparison to a typical stop by the Three Nine: she would have to check the schedule to see how long she had left. She wondered how long she'd slept. 'It couldn't have been very long' she thought, 'or the Station Attendant would've woken me.'

Maetel walked to the open door of the car, looked up and down the platform but saw no one. Up in the gap between the train car and the roof above the platform, she could see blue sky and puffy white clouds. It wasn't too cold or too hot and taking a deep breath, she could smell the scent of flowers in the air. Maetel smiled, and with a tinge of sadness thought, 'Tetsuro would've loved it here.'

She was hungry. Looking about the station she saw that it didn't offer the usual vending machines, not that she ate from them often in any case. Fortunately though, the station did have lockers where she could temporarily store her suitcase so she wouldn't have to lug the heavy thing around.

Ruefully, Maetel thought, 'Why couldn't Mother have given me a shoulder bag or even a back pack instead of this heavy thing…." She was immediately sorry for thinking that. 'Mother always did what she thought was right, even when she was wrong. Besides, this is all I have left to remember her now….'

After placing the suitcase in the locker and checking the schedule, she noted that she had nearly two hours before the train left. Just enough time for her to find a nice restaurant and have a leisurely meal: she didn't like being rushed. 'A little thought and planning, taking the time to build time into a schedule makes all the difference,' she thought.

The station was clean and well kept. When she passed the Station Attendants' office she found it was unlocked but empty. She called out but getting no response, she went on out through the gate into the square. It was beautiful and large, with a fountain in the middle. The town that surrounded it was beautiful as well: white-washed houses with red roofs, flower boxes beneath the windows of many and cobble-stone streets that were beautifully laid out and very clean as well.

There were people on the street but no one seemed to be taking any particular notice of her. As Maetel walked along she turned a corner and saw an outdoor café that looked promising. She quickened her pace a bit in anticipation of trying the local fare. It was then that she saw the Gendarme standing on the other side of the street, watching her intently. Though he didn't motion to her or say anything, she slowed her pace thinking it best not to attract attention.

Suddenly, a man appeared in her path and moved with her as she tried to pass, blocking her way.

"Excuse me, please…" Maetel said.

"Excuse you… _please_!" the man said sarcastically, mocking her.

"There is no excuse for you, Maetel!" he said harshly. "Promethium! Last Ruler of the Empire! Yes, that's right, we know who you are and we don't want your _kind_ here!"

'What 'kind' is that?' she wanted to ask, but couldn't. She thought to try to explain that she just wanted something to eat but a crowd began to form, so Maetel turned and started walking back toward the station. Since beginning this new journey she'd often faced the unreasoning hatred of individuals but this seemed different: the crowd was growing rapidly, too rapidly to be a coincidence.

She had her whip-sword and could defend herself if only she could bring herself to use it…. She looked for the Gendarme and saw him keeping pace with her but on the other side of the street. He wasn't going to help her…. She tried to pick up her pace, but now they were in front of her slowing her down, blocking the way.

Finally Maetel stopped her back against a wall. She could just see the station just across the square, but now she was surrounded by the semi-circle of an angry mob. They hadn't closed in yet continuing to yell and shout accusations at her for things she didn't know about and couldn't have prevented if she'd known. Then, someone in their rage, having pulled up a paving stone from the street let lose.

There is a soldiers' myth that 'you never see or hear the one that gets you'. Maetel knew that wasn't always true: she clearly saw the gray stone arching high above the angry faces like a guided missile heading right at her. At the last instant, she put her head down as it struck with a jarring thud.

Maetel's head was numb, her ears ringing, but it was her teeth that hurt for some reason: they felt loose. She tried to move her hand to touch her mouth but became instantly off balance and felt herself falling so she put her hand back out in front of her. Slowly, as her vision returned, she saw that her hat was oddly suspended in the air. Her hands were stretched out flat against blank space. It was all very curious.

Uncomprehending, she watched little gray spots appear before her eyes: two, three, five then eight…. As more appeared their color began to change from light gray to dark, to maroon and then bright red and she came to the realization that she wasn't standing at all but was in fact on her hands and knees staring at the sidewalk. That those little red dots were blood, her blood….

She swallowed hard and looked up at the people all around her and saw angry confusion in their eyes. She saw that their mouths were open wide but that they made no sound, no sound at all above the ringing in her ears. Through the crowd the Gendarme stepped toward her and with his gloved hand, touched her roughly on the head. Taking his hand away he stepped back examining her blood on his finger tips.

Turning and holding his hand up for all to see, he looked over the crowd and said, "This is a flesh and blood human. We don't kill flesh and blood humans, no matter who they are or what they've done. All of you disburse at once and go about your business!"

Scooping up the paving stone, to one of the men he said, "You there, find the hole this came from and put it back in it."

"But I didn't do it," the man complained to which the Gendarme replied, "I didn't ask you if you did it or not: we're not vandals to tear up our streets!" He then hurled the stone in an underhanded toss that hit the man in the gut with an "oof".

Turning to Maetel he said sharply, "Get up and go back to the station!" Maetel struggled to get to her feet but apparently not fast enough for him so he snatched up her hat with one hand and grabbed her by the arm with the other and practically drug her across the square to the station. There was a line painted on the ground there that she hadn't noticed before. The Gendarme pointed to it saying, "You see this? You stay on that side of the line!" and then he shoved her across.

"Why did you leave the station anyway?" he asked.

"I… I was hungry…." Maetel replied.

Tossing her hat to her, he looked her over with a casual disregard. "Yes. I suppose you would get hungry. I'll have something sent to you."

He then added, pointing at her face, "If you'd been a machine, I'd have let them tear you to pieces!"

"You would condone murder?" Maetel asked.

"Murder?" the Gendarme said questioningly with a cruel grin, "You can't murder a machine. You can't even kill a machine. All you can do is what we do here: shut them off!" With that, he turned and walked away.

"I have money to pay…." Maetel said after him.

"We will take care of that for you Citizen Maetel: it is the least we can do after trying to kill you," said the Station Attendant who'd appeared seemingly from thin air. "You must learn to be more careful. Now, come with me: you're making a mess, dripping blood everywhere."

Maetel swallowed hard and looked down at the line on the pavement. She noted that it would mark the edge of her existence on many worlds. 'There are many planets that need kindness and gentleness, and this is one,' Maetel thought. 'Life on this planet could be free and beautiful, if only the people could free themselves from their hate. They've barricaded their souls and shut out mercy and forgiveness in favor of vengeance and revenge. But only the unloved hate so...' Maetel thought sadly. 'The cynical, the brutal and the cruel: is this my mother's legacy… or, for all my effort, is it my own?'

The Station Attendant put five stitches in Maetel's scalp just above the hair line. It didn't hurt much even though she'd refused the local anesthetic. She couldn't justify the expense and besides her head was still numb. The Attendant wasn't one for casual banter and her 'bed-side manner' was definitely lacking. After completing the task she stepped back and just stood looking at Maetel in cold silence.

Maetel thought to thank her but the coldness with which she stared belayed it. She was surprised to see the Gendarme enter the office with a bag from the Café. Even more surprising was that he came straight across the room put the bag in her lap and looked straight at her said with quiet urgency, "Citizen Maetel, there is a man coming after me. You must not leave the station: do you understand?"

Maetel nodded but before she could speak the man entered the office: a rotund, smiling man but in his eyes Maetel saw a cunning gleam….

"Maetel-sama, are you alright? I came as soon as I heard about this vicious assault on your person! To think that this fool," gesturing toward the Gendarme, "didn't bring you to our hospital at once for proper treatment!"

"The Station Attendant has taken care of me…" Maetel said.

"Yes, yes I'm sure this… this First aid technician… has done her best, but surely, we can do better at our hospital. Come with me and you can have your injury treated properly; nothing is too good for you, Maetel-sama…."

"No thank you… Mr…?" Maetel asked.

"Yes, I'm Mr. Okuta, the Mayor here and we just can't let you get away, er… leave… before this matter has been handled correctly. I'm sure you understand, Maetel-sama?"

"Mr. Okuta, I think I'll be fine…"

In an instant Mr. Okuta's face had hardened, his smile looking more like a sneer, "Surely, Maetel-sama, you need x-rays to see if your skull has been fractured. You could be seriously injured. If you leave our world, we can't be held liable for any complications you may develop later…."

"I'll be fine…"

"What about the perpetrators of this violent assault? You can't just let them get away with this can you? Why don't you come with me, to the Police Station, to make a statement."

"No, Mr. Okuta, I…"

"I must insist, Citizen Maetel," he said stepping toward her. The look on his face and his tone had changed like a switch had been tripped.

"No, Mr. Okuta," Maetel said standing to meet him. "I have no desire to leave the Station for any reason. I will be fine. As for the perpetrators, they are your responsibility. What happened is already a matter of record: my statement is unnecessary."

An icy silence followed as Mr. Okuta looked around the room his gaze settling on the Gendarme.

"You're responsible for this!" and turning to Maetel he added, "You'll leave this planet but someday soon your luck will run out, Citizen Maetel. Someone will get you tomorrow or the next day and you will be made to pay. Someone will get you and you will be made to pay!"

He stood and walked briskly from the room as an icy coldness gripped Maetel's heart. She felt nauseous and faint having stood up too fast but fortunately the Gendarme took her arm and sat her down. Maetel looked up at him and asked, "Why? Why would you help me…?"

"Citizen Maetel," the Gendarme said looking away, "I know of nothing that you're guilty that you should die for. You are a human not a machine. Besides if it weren't for you, I might not exist. You saved my father's life on the Bitten Planet. You knew him as Edmond the Space Warrior. He brought his memories of 'Sweet Sweet' to settle and make his home here, on the 'Bitter Planet'. Citizen Maetel, it's as simple as that."

Shortly, the train pulled out and continued its journey. As her chilled heart began to thaw Maetel remembered Edmond and tearfully thought, 'There room for hope….'


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

Maetel had been here before. She'd sat in the same room, in the same high backed metal chair, in the same circle of light only this time, she didn't have any idea what was going to happen. On her eternal journey she'd often simply known what was going to happen. She never knew specific details but in general, she knew that it would all work out. She couldn't remember why but, every day was a new and unpredictable day for her now.

This day, in this darkened room filled with the same computers and the same blinking, beeping status boards was a new day. Across the room on the other side of a large, round table that doubled as yet another status board, a Galaxy Railway Administrator paced back and forth droning on and on. As he spoke, she could feel herself getting even lonelier and smaller in the chair….

"Citizen Maetel," he'd began, "I see that you've been traveling a long time to get here from La Metal. Commuter trains; quite a few in fact. I can also see that you were denied layovers: layovers that would have enabled you to catch an Express. That was unfortunate, as was the assault and battery committed against you at Miriam Station. Of course, you understand that Galaxy Railways does not interfere with the local administration of the Planets we go to. Their policies with regard to dissidents, refugees and displaced persons are not our responsibility or concern. You should have been more careful.

"Now, I understand that you want to disembark here? Why? How would you survive? While these primitives wouldn't stop you, the Galaxy Railways does have a certain obligation to protect these people and this planet from, 'contamination' as you well know."

Maetel felt ill. She hadn't been eating well, and her cloths, now thread bare in places, hung on her. It wasn't that she didn't eat or didn't want to eat; it was simply that often she wasn't hungry. She attributed it to stress. Her journey on the commuter trains had been too long, too hard. With every stop, with every accusing, questioning look, with every petty slight or rarer act of grudged kindness she'd felt smaller, the weight on her shoulders growing, crushing her down.

"Citizen Maetel!" She looked up, startled to find that the Administrator had moved around the table and now stood close within her little circle of light. She recoiled. The look on his inscrutable face revealed nothing. She had heard but had barely listened to what he'd been saying.

"I… I'm sorry. I… " she choked out, her voice barely more than a whisper…

"Speak up Citizen Maetel! I can't hear you," he said loudly staring directly into her face.

Maetel felt a weakness, a fear and a sadness that she could only equate to the moment when her mother had taken her soul-ring: she'd been halved. Over time she had recovered but still, she was never the same. Now that she was no longer a Princess, no longer heir to the Queen of anything, the ruler of nothing, she'd been halved again: quartered. 'Have I no value at all…' she thought?

She straitened in the chair, raised her head high and said, "I am not without skills! There are many careers, positions, jobs… things that I can do. I can be a productive member of this society. I can make a contribution here and have a life, here, for myself if only I could be allowed to disembark…. I am aware of the need to not 'contaminate' the populous with knowledge of the galaxy. I know how to keep a secret and I promise that I won't be a problem. I won't be a problem for anyone…."

The Administrator, who'd continued looking directly into her face shook his head and said harshly, "Citizen Maetel: you are a problem in being. You are contamination personified. As for your skills, you are at once vastly over qualified and yet totally unqualified for any employment you could possibly hold on this planet. What have you to say to that?"

The illness she felt rising in her throat was consuming her, her thoughts, her mind, her 'self'…. She couldn't hold his gaze and looked away. Though she'd swore that no one would ever see her cry, that she would never debase herself and plead or beg for help, this was the last stop: it was the end of the line for her. As the tears welled up, brimming in her eyes she choked out, "Perhaps, I could work here… for the Railways… I couldn't contaminate anyone… here…."

The Administrator had no love for the Mechanized Empire or royalty in general, but he held Maetel in no ill will. He didn't relish the role he was now playing: it was simply his job. But that didn't make it right and as he looked at her, watching her seem to draw up and visibly shrink in the chair he felt her pain and the pain she felt because of him caused him to do something very, very unusual for a bureaucrat: _he made a decision_!

'Yes, Maetel. You may make this planet your home….' He thought of reaching out and touching her shoulder to reassure her, to show her some measure of human compassion, but….

"No…," he said, drawing back respectfully. "Citizen Maetel, if you were to simply walk out of the station. If you were very careful and if you didn't give anyone a reason to question after you or go looking for you…." As he spoke those words his voice had softened. Then he added just above a whisper, "but checking tickets is no job for a Princess."

Maetel looked up slowly, questioningly, but before she could speak he suddenly turned on his heel and walked back around the table saying loudly, "Out of the question. I would advise you, Citizen Maetel, to get back on the train and continue your journey to a more suitable planet. Now, if that was all you had to discuss, I believe we're through here. You may go!"

Dismissed, Maetel stood, turned and walked slowly to the door. As it automatically opened she looked back at the Administrator. He'd said 'If'. She didn't believe in 'if' anymore. 'If' was an illusion for children's day dreams. Her faith in 'if' had been driven from her on the commuter trains but he had called her 'a Princess'. As she looked at him, he seemed to bow his head ever so slightly and averted his eyes! Her breath caught. She turned and stepped through the door and walked slowly down the long hall to the elevator. As she rode down the five floors and walked out into the open space of the lobby beyond, she believed in her heart she was free…. But alas, she wasn't.

As Maetel approached the turnstile a quiet alarm sounded somewhere and she stopped cold. All eyes were upon her and she stood transfixed, an insect in amber, more alone than she'd ever felt in her life. A Station Attendant approached and said, "Come with me, please." He led her to an office just off the South Exit. The same that she and Tetsuro had passed through those many months, or years, before (she couldn't remember now). The thought of simply running: of trying to make a break for freedom crossed her mind but she just couldn't do it…. Once in the office the employee pointed to a chair and left her. There alone she wept.

Meanwhile, back in the control room, the Administrator had been called on the carpet and tersely informed that if Maetel remained on the planet she would have to be 'Monitored'. And that since he'd made the decision to allow her to stay, he would be personally responsible for conducting that 'monitoring'. Further, that if he refused or if there were any problems, he would have to personally put her on the next train.

He objected using every argument he could think of, finally saying that Maetel was a grown woman and needed no 'supervision'. It was reiterated that he was to 'Monitor' Maetel, not 'Supervise' her. He didn't see or understand the difference and said as much, but no matter how hard he tried to steer the discussion, the Railways Management couldn't, wouldn't and didn't, explain. It was however made clear, in a general way that 'contamination' wasn't the issue. He didn't understand but finally, reluctantly, he agreed to 'monitor' Maetel.

He went down to the Station office and saw Maetel there through the glass. He could feel the profound and dejected sadness flowing from her. He could see that she'd been crying but never the less he thought it best to be strait forward and frank about their collective situation. But the moment he stepped through the door she looked up at him with her sad, tear filled eyes and he was speechless. He coughed, stammered and said, "Citizen Maetel, I'm sorry for the delay: please, come with me."

The Administrator led Maetel out the South Exit and onto the street. With a nervous smile he said, "You are free to go. When you're settled, please come back around so I can see how you're doing." He'd tried to be nonchalant, to make it seem like a friendly gesture: one human being looking out for another. But this time it was his turn to feel the weight of her stair and his turn to look away. Finally, he straightened and said, "Citizen Maetel, as a condition of allowing you to remain on this planet, I have been ordered to 'monitor' you. I'm sorry, but there it is. When you're settled, please, report back to me and provide me with your address and contact information so that I can… check up on you from time to time. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I understand." Maetel said quietly. "I will try not to be a problem for you." Then suddenly, unexpectedly, she put out her hand as if to seal the deal. He looked at it, and then at her. Slowly, he took off his glove and taking her frail hand into his, he said earnestly, "Good luck, Citizen Maetel." He wished he could have said and done more for her because he knew that no matter how sad or lonely she might be she could never, would never, call on him for help.

At that, they parted. The Administrator watched as she walked away with her evenly measured, and he thought, very regal step. He genuinely wished her the best of luck in her new life but suddenly wondered if she were up to it. There would be days and nights that would try her and she would have no one to turn to….

'Perhaps,' he thought, 'that's the reason why she must to be monitored. Why someone must be here to watch over her. Just in case….'


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Maetel rounded the corner and walked until she saw it: The Maple Leaf Garden Chinese Restaurant. The sight of it brought back a flood of memories to her. She thought of Adachi-san and wondered if he'd become a famous writer or not. Thinking back, Maetel remembered having heard though the wall, that he'd found her attractive. In fact, 'Beautiful' had been the word he'd used. Maetel smiled and put the thought from her mind. He wasn't her 'type' she thought, but then she didn't know what her 'type' was really. She'd only been in love once and it hadn't been 'romantic': she and Nazca had never had the time….

'In any case,' she thought, 'being alone isn't so bad…. Tomorrow will be wonderful for sure. All I have to do is find an apartment, a good job, work my hardest and everything will all be alright.'

As she walked up and tried to open the door to the Restaurant, she suddenly felt faint. The door seemed so heavy: it wouldn't slide. So she put down her suitcase and tried again with both hands. This time the door slid open with a startling crash. People looked at her embarrassingly but it got worse: as she extended her arm down to pick up her suitcase, it seemed to fall away from her into an inky blackness, out of reach….

Taro was on his way home from work when he saw a crumpled heap of black cloths and golden hair at the Chinese Restaurant. A small crowd had gathered: restaurant patrons and passersby, all talking at once but none taking any concerted action. As he got closer he saw that it was a woman. Her complexion was unnaturally pale, almost ashen, with circles under her eyes: she was obviously unwell. Then she looked up and speaking with a far away voice she said, "I'm sorry; I don't want to be any bother…."

He hadn't recognized her at first but one look into her face and he remembered her name in an instant. Stepping boldly through the bystanders he helped Maetel to her feet. She was shorter than he remembered, but then he was taller now. Her color returned rapidly but still she seemed unsteady and weak, her eyes unfocused….

"Your name, its Maetel isn't it?" He asked.

The sound of her own name brought a sudden awareness of her predicament. "I… No, I'm sorry, no. My name is Meiko, Hoshino Meiko," Maetel said regaining a bit of composure. She recognized Taro even though he was older, taller, a man now. She remembered him as he was: the boy who'd stolen hers and Tetsuro's passes. But she also remembered that Tetsuro had said they could've been friends.

"Yes, of course… Meiko." Taro said with a curious look. "Are you hungry? Let's get you something to eat!" Maetel reached down for her suitcase but he said, "No, please, sit down: I'll get that for you." She was wary but his smile disarmed her so she entered and sat down. Taro put her suitcase in the seat next to him and sat down across from her.

She hadn't aged a bit he thought. He remembered her as being beautiful and she was beautiful still, even though she was obviously travel-weary and unwell just now. He hadn't really noticed the first time around: he'd been too self involved, too intent on leaving the planet to pay attention to such things.

He ordered for them and they ate in silence. Finally Taro asked, "So, where is your traveling companion, Tetsuro wasn't it?"

Maetel knew that Taro knew what she was, but could she trust him? She thought for a moment before finally saying, "He went home." She knew that he would understand what that meant and that he would have a thousand questions that she wouldn't and couldn't answer. Maetel could see those questions forming on the young man's face so with a toss of her hair and a smile, she changed the subject.

"You've remembered my name but I still don't know yours…" she said smiling.

"Yes, that's right," he said standing, "we were never properly introduced: I am Nomura Taro. Mae… Meiko, where are you staying? I'd be happy to walk you there."

Maetel didn't know what to say to him as she had nowhere to go…. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again as she tried to think of something, anything to say, but could she trust him?

Then, almost on cue, the door slid open and in stepped a young woman with a questioning look. "Taro, I've been looking for you…" she said.

"Oh, Hanako, I'd like you to meet Hoshino Meiko. She's… an old friend!"

The look that swept over Hanako's guile-less and annoyed face so clearly communicated her thoughts, it was as if she'd blurted out, 'How is it that all of Taro's 'old friends' look just like you?'

"Hanako," Maetel said with a smile, putting out her hand, "it's such a pleasure to meet you!" Maetel put Hanako at ease quickly, so quickly in fact that it was she, rather than Taro, that invited her to stay with them until she found an apartment.

It was fortunate because Maetel had only a little money left. She'd had to Pawn off her watch, communicator, laser ring, earrings and two of her three guns along the way. The jewelry, communicator and the anti-matter pistol hadn't been anything special to her, but her EMP pistol had been: Dagar had made it for her. She remembered that Tochero had said that all a person needed was freedom and dreams, but Maetel had learned that money helped a lot too!

In short order she'd found a small apartment much like the dorm she and Tetsuro had stayed in, only smaller and dungier. Finding a job was much harder. She'd been advised to cut her hair to a more manageable, working-girl-like length and to dress more 'casually'. Maetel thought that, for her hair, something similar to Kei Yuki's would work but she just couldn't do it! As for clothes, she had no money for them and like her hair, they were her identity: it was just too stressful to contemplate.

And there was another issue that she had never considered: actually 'working' for 'people'. While she had 'worked' all her life, her struggles, trials and tribulations had been objective labors of love, duty and obligation. She'd never had to labor subjectively for anyone, ever. To have to 'work' at 'things' that one didn't necessarily 'want' to do, for 'people' one didn't necessarily 'want' to do anything for, just to earn money, to live, was something she had never done before.

Finally though, through a temp service, her hair up in a bun and braids, she began working in administrative and light industrial positions. Some were okay, but most were boring and tedious. Her co-workers and managers seemed much more interested in getting out of work than actually doing it. Her wages reflected their attitude more than hers: she earned enough to pay the rent, feed herself but little more.

The problem she'd found was that while being tall, attractive and articulate could open doors, the jobs that paid well required documentation or at least a work history that she simply didn't have. More than once she'd gone home to her tiny room, taken out her suitcase praying, 'Please let there be something inside to help me….' But always, it was empty.

Worse still, her dreams had not stopped and if anything they were becoming even more confused. Every time she woke up she had to take stock not only of where, but somehow, when she was. Fortunately, it didn't bleed over into her waking hours. When she was awake, and knew that she was awake, she still had a clear grasp of what was happening. Asleep however, she'd come to depend on Nazca and she prayed he'd never leave her.

It was one of those days, after a trying job interview putting her inheritance away that there was a knock at the door. Except for Taro and Hanako she'd had no guests and was totally unprepared to entertain. But never the less she said in as cheerful a voice she could manage, "Please, come in." The door opened to reveal the Railways Administrator.

Her first panicked thought was, 'What have I done? Have I brought attention to myself somehow? I promised that I wouldn't be a problem for him….' Since she didn't know, couldn't know why he was there she just stood in silence waiting for him to speak. The Administrator stepped in to her pint sized room little bigger than a walk-in closet and thought it atrocious!

He had stopped by out of sheer curiosity. Maetel had used him as a reference on a job application to work, in of all places, a tatami mat factory. After verifying her information and ending the call, he'd looked up the address she'd given him. It seemed an odd place for her to choose to live, and an even odder choice for a job.

'I did imply to her that she should maintain a low profile, but I never intended this,' he thought. He noticed that her window was cracked; a bare bulb hung from the ceiling, and even though the facilities were located at the end of the hall, there was a damp, musty odor to the place. The nicest thing he could think to say was that it was otherwise clean and neat. Then, in the glare of that bare bulb, it came to him and he realized, 'She has no money!' It had never occurred to him. As he opened his mouth to speak, Maetel recovering herself said "Oh, I'm sorry! Please forgive me: sit down."

Thanking her as he sat, he thought fast. Simply offering her money was out of the question: she would never accept and it would hurt and embarrass her terribly! Never the less, he felt he had to do something about this situation, and right now! Choosing his words very carefully, so as not to damage her perhaps fragile self-respect he said, "It would appear Citizen Maetel… that you seem to be… under employed. I can familiarize myself with your skill-set and if you're open to it, I think that I can work out a solution for you…."


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Within a matter of days, Maetel met with the Administrator for lunch at the Municipal Airport Café. There he introduced her to a short affable man, a pilot and CFI who owned an air charter business. The Administrator promptly excused himself and what followed was a Job interview unlike any she'd been to before. They conversed about flying, but he did most of the talking.

He didn't ask her for documentation or certifications and though he never said as much, it was almost as if he seemed to know that she had none to offer him. At the close of their meeting, he handed her the manual to a basic trainer and said, "Here, familiarize yourself with this and come back when you're ready."

That night Maetel poured over the manual to learn the aircraft's capabilities, limitations and technical specifications. It quickly dawned on her that what she'd taken to be a simplistic drawing in the front of the manual illustrating the machines flight control system was, in fact, accurate. It showed 'cables'. She had naturally assumed it meant fiber-optic 'cables', or at least harnessed wire 'cables' leading to actuators, servos and thrusters. But to her shock it meant 'cables': strands of twisted wire, running directly from rudder pedals and control yoke, over pulleys to control surfaces, which were dependent upon air flow and atmospheric pressure to function….

The Railways Administrators words came back to her like a blow to the pit of her stomach, "…you are at once vastly over qualified and yet totally unqualified for any employment you could possibly hold on this planet." Never had a truer statement been made to her. Compared to the trainer she had learned to fly on, this machine was underpowered, primitive and dangerous and didn't even have flight control computer (!). The up-sides were that it had side by side seating and was an aerodynamically balanced and stable design. Maetel had never flown in, much less piloted, anything like it….

After three days hard study, she returned and the surprised CFI, questioned her. It was obvious he didn't expect much so at first his questions were slow and general but became quicker and more specific as he went on. He smiled at the completeness of her answers and when Maetel began to ask clarification questions in order to give even more complete answers, he grinned suddenly and said, "Well, enough of this: let's go flying!"

At 80 knots they rotated and lifted off the runway. After a few touch and goes in the pattern, they climbed 3000 feet into a cloudless sky, proceeding northward over rolling hills and fields. It was liberating for Maetel to just to be in the air. Responding to her obvious, visceral reaction to flying the CFI on a lark asked, "Would you like to take the controls?"

Maetel nodded.

"Very well: you have the aircraft!" he said holding up his hands.

After watching his technique and feeling the machine respond under his able control, she felt a renewed sense of confidence in her own ability. She banked 90 degrees right and then back 180 degrees to the left to be certain that they were in clear air. By her standards, the control response was sluggish but manageable: she would have to be very careful to not over control.

"Say, you really are a pilot!" he exclaimed as she leveled the plane.

"Do you like aerobatics?" she asked.

"Yes! But remember we don't have any parachutes!" he said half jokingly.

Maetel just smiled and promptly looped the plane. She began a second loop but snap rolled 180 degrees at the top executing an Immelmann. She rolled and dived, climbed, stalled, spun and just kept going. She did every maneuver the plane could safely handle and just kept going: in short she had fun with it. At first the CFI laughed, whooped, hollered offering advice and criticism, but shortly he fell silent. At some point Maetel glanced over at him and saw that he'd gone pale, was breathing through his mouth and had a white knuckled death grip on his 5-point harness so she leveled the plane and asked, "I'm sorry, are you all right?"

"Oh. Yes. Yes… I'm all right. Why don't you just go ahead and take her down?" He didn't offer to take the controls and said nothing to her during the decent, handling the radio instead. On final approach he reminded Maetel to set her flaps but nothing more. She flew it right down to the ground in a hard, but not terrible, landing. They taxied to the parking area and tied the aircraft down in silence.

He then stopped, looked Maetel in the eye and spoke, "Meiko, where did you learn to fly like that?" His tone was serious and the question hung in the air like a dark cloud over them. Then he added like a lightning bolt, "You fly like a pilot who's used to flying high performance aircraft. But that's not possible. Is it?"

In an instant, Maetel knew that she had made a mistake. She had no answer for him that could possibly explain her skill and ability. She remembered the few short days before when she walked through the office noticing the pictures on the wall: there was not a single female face looking back at her. Like most places in the universe, this was a man's world and as a woman she was as much an outsider here as she was as an alien, perhaps even more so….

Finally, he let her off the hook shaking his head, "Listen, It doesn't matter to me where you learned to fly: it's not important. You're a good pilot: very good. Flying bug smashers like these will take some getting used to. The lessons, well not lessons really, but, the flight time to get the certifications and qualifications you'll need to earn a living this way will take time and cost money.

"We need a scheduler/dispatcher. Basically it will be mostly office work but, from time to time, there will be ferry or delivery work to be done. Riding along will enable you to get the flight time you'll need at no cost. That'll help you a lot since the pay won't be what you're worth and won't be much more than you're making now, probably. On the other hand, you'll be doing something more in line with your obvious skills and abilities. I'm sorry that I can't offer you better, but there it is."

"Yes, I understand," Maetel said, "I don't know how to thank you. I…"

He cut her off with a wave of his hand, "Just work hard and don't make me regret it. That's all." Then, looking at Maetel as they walked from the flight line and responding to the pensive, worried look on her face he add with a nudge, a wink and a smile, "I won't go easy on you 'cause you're pretty either…." Surprised by his sudden forwardness, Maetel smiled and blushed.

The next day, the flight surgeon who gave Maetel her second-class airman's physical, questioned her at length about anorexia, of all things. She understood his concern but was able to convince him that she was just naturally thin and that she hadn't been feeling or eating well, which was very true. She didn't know why and couldn't have explained it to him if she had. He prescribed something to settle her stomach, vitamin pills and told her to "Eat!" Concerned, he scheduled a follow up appointment cautioning her that he, "would need to see some improvement, or else!"

Maetel happily informed the Administrator that she had a new job and he was gratified. It was worthy of her and would enable her to have a quality of life that, while not luxurious, would be enough to build a future on. Later, almost coincidentally an off-world inquiry as to Maetel's whereabouts came across his desk. To him, the way the inquiry was worded, seemed vague and threatening. Concerned, he began a 'due-diligence' inquiry of his own to find out just who wanted to know, and more importantly, why….

Days passed and Maetel wasn't getting any better physically. While she could hold down the vitamins, her hair had lost its luster and was beginning to thin…. But more importantly and of much more concern, she was beginning to break down psychologically: simple mental tasks were becoming increasingly difficult.

Then came the day lost in thought as she walked home, she was too preoccupied to notice that she was being followed. Suddenly Maetel felt 'them' all around her and it was too late. Particularly, she felt the shadow at her 12 o'clock position: a silent, menacing form in the darkness moving with purpose. In a fluid motion she drew her whip-sword and was, in an instant, on guard. Maetel could feel other shadows moving silently into position all around her. It was an ambush from which she could not escape or retreat!

'So, this is it…' she thought. Long before, she'd stopped trying to save herself: in the moments of crisis, she'd waited for death. But always, her young men had taken her hand and lead her from the danger. Faithfully they'd done this because she had chosen them so well. She had led them along the path and even when she'd given them the opportunity to discover her truth, they'd chosen instead to trust in her heart without question. They were thankful, and said as much, just to have her warm at their side! She had dreamed it painfully, over and over and over again….

But now she was alone. There was no one to save. There was no one to save her and while she had begun a new life, she couldn't fight to keep it…. There was something very wrong with her and she knew it. She didn't know what it was but she knew she couldn't go on this way. Yes, she had lived. But she had no _reason_ to live, and perhaps, not even the right!

'For having survived the fall of Empire,' Maetel thought, 'haven't I earned and deserve the hatred of the unloved, the cynical, the brutal and the cruel? It doesn't really matter whose legacy it was…' Then she closed her eyes, bowed her head and let the whip-sword drop from her hand to clatter noisily on the ground at her feet.

'I've been ready for such a long, long time,' she thought. 'I won't move… a short, sharp thrust and it will all be over….' She thought back to the old man on Mars and how he'd told Tetsuro that he felt sorry for the man who wasn't able to die when his time came. Maetel smiled as the tears streamed down her face and thought, 'No time for sorrow now: my time has come… at last.'

All around her she felt the shadows pause. A sharp intake of breath from her nemesis ahead puzzled her. Then out of that darkness, a familiar voice spoke her name saying, "Oh, Maetel…." She knew that voice and the sound of it took her breath away. As she collapsed, the shadows rushed in closing around her and in their hands she was lifted up lest she touch the ground.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

When Maetel woke she didn't know where she was, but she knew it wasn't her apartment: 'It smells clean here…' she thought. Then she heard a distant voice slowly growing in volume saying, "She'll be alright... but she's had a very hard time. I've performed a full molecular scan and frankly, I'm stunned. She's been hurt, badly, many times. She's been shot in the back by a large caliber projectile, impaled through and through and crushed at some point breaking nearly every bone in her body! These injuries along with many of the others would've been fatal, or at least crippling! But they're all old and fully healed…. Right now, she has a head injury and evidence of a concussion that while not serious, appears to have been healing 'normally'. That's very unusual considering her other, older injuries. Other than that, she's physically weak, anemic and malnourished…. With treatment, physically, she'll recover.

"Now, her brain wave pattern is abnormal, but that was to be expected under the circumstances. It must have been terrible and confusing for her: the mental stress was severe enough that it manifested itself physically…. There is no way to know but it may take a long time for her to recover mentally, we'll have to wait and see…."

"Doctor Zero, has she spoken, has she said anything at all?"

"Nothing coherent or useful, I'm afraid. This woman, your sister and comrade, didn't know what was happening to her…."

Maetel recognized the second voice as Harlock's in an instant. 'I must be on the Death Shadow….' she thought, 'but no, that's wrong… the Arcadia, or Queen Emeraldas, or perhaps even Nazca's ship…' she thought hopefully. But she didn't know and couldn't be sure….

Also, Maetel couldn't be sure she wasn't dreaming. She only knew that if it were, it was a 'new' and different dream and Nazca wasn't in it: she didn't feel him anywhere. She had come to depend on him so much in her dreams, her nightmares, that now she thought, 'what new terror is this going to be!?' The thought of facing it all alone without him made her sob aloud.

Then, she felt the warmth of a hand on her shoulder. Opening her eyes she saw Emeraldas standing at her bedside. She felt a sudden fearfulness and thought to draw away but the look on her sister's face was not what she had expected: she had thought that Emeraldas would be angry with her. But what she saw in her sister's face was a look of worry and concern: of worry, concern and love for her!

"Emeraldas?" she sobbed tearfully, questioningly.

"Yes Maetel…?" Emeraldas asked.

Struggling up Maetel grabbed her sister and held her tight. She felt so warm, so real: almost like she was really there! But most importantly Maetel thought, '…she's not angry with me!'

For her part, Emeraldas' could feel the desperate, longing need of her sister to be held and reassured and so she did, holding her close. Of the two of them, Maetel certainly, had been the cloying, clingy one, but even as a child she'd never been like this…. She was obviously hurt, wounded and weak down to her bones: Emeraldas could feel it.

"Maetel," she said, stroking her sister's once silky hair which was now coarse and brittle, "it's alright... You're alright. Nothing will happen to you here. You're safe…." Maetel didn't speak; she just held on and sobbed. Emeraldas looked up worriedly at the Dr. Zero who'd stepped forward with a syringe saying, "Maetel-sama…"

"NO!" Maetel said recoiling with burst of manic, almost fearful, energy drawing Emeraldas even closer. "I'm a just a Citizen! I'm just a regular person… now…."

"Yes, you are a Citizen, Maetel-san," he said glancing at Emeraldas, "but you'll always be a 'Lady' to me. Here, this will help you." He injected Maetel in the arm she had thrust toward him. He wasn't sure if she were offering it to him or simply making a pathetic attempt to ward him off. In any case, she didn't resist.

The medication took effect almost immediately and Emeraldas lowered Maetel gently down to the pillow brushing her straw like hair from her face. Within seconds, Maetel had drifted off into a deep, deep sleep.

"Dr. Zero, what's in that?" Emeraldas asked.

"It's something to counteract, or at least mitigate the effects of the Symbiosis Memory Storage Unit. Since the destruction of Great Andromeda, the mechanism that controlled the modifications done to her no longer exists. Without that mechanism, they simply do not work properly or at all: she carries the burdens of what was done to her but none of the benefits. This is not a 'cure' but until I figure out what else can be done…."

"She's _so_ thin…" Emeraldas said having felt her ribs through her clothes like a washboard. The haggard look, the dark circles under her eyes and her once beautiful hair…. She looked down at her sister and said more to herself than to anyone else, "Maetel, look at what's happened to you: that you could be like this…."

She looked imploringly at Dr. Zero who just shook his head and said quietly, "She's unwell and has had a very, very hard time."

Emeraldas looked up at Harlock with fire in her eyes and leaving Dr. Zero to watch over Maetel, they left the Infirmary. No sooner had the door closed behind them than Emeraldas stopped, shaking. Harlock could feel the anger rolling off of her in waves that warmed the very air around her.

'This is new and different,' he thought, 'I've never seen Emeraldas like this before.'

"Emeraldas, get hold of yourself," he said cautiously.

"What's that Harlock!?" Emeraldas said, turning on him in an instant. He thought it best to remain silent as she continued. "Did you see how the 'Citizen' put her arm out: my sister, the 'Regular Person' obeying a command?! Oh, yes, she's 'unwell'! Yes, she's had a 'hard time': that much is obvious! But she didn't get like _that_ from being sick! She's been abused Harlock! She's been brutalized! Cruel, vicious, petty, vile, small-minded… creatures… have piteously abused and broken her! They've hurt her inside and for what, _saving their lives_? And you know Harlock: she just took it… she would've just taken it… and suffered… in silence!"

Harlock could just nod in agreement knowing that, 'Yes, she would have.' Emeraldas continued, "Harlock, you saw when we came to her… she thought we were going to kill her… and she was ready to die! She didn't even try to defend herself! She just stood there… waiting to be struck down… crushed… impaled… _or shot in the back_!"

Suddenly, Emeraldas stopped cold, silent and still. Harlock froze solid as well: the look on her face was one of pure rage! Then she made an odd, choked gurgling… sound. The mask of rage fell away, overtaken by one of pain at horrible and unspeakable thoughts.

Then, in a quavering voice Emeraldas vowed, "I will hunt them down to the ends of the universe and blast them into dust for what they've done to her! I'm not going to restrain myself: I'm going to kill them all! I will not fail my sister Maetel again: she will be avenged!"

As she stormed off down the passageway Harlock just stood and watched. Yes, he was certain that after leaving La Metal, Maetel been dealt with callously, carelessly, cruelly and even violently at some point, noting the head wound, but, beyond that…. Harlock knew well the evil that lurked in the hearts of men, but shook his head thinking, 'No. No one would have dared to…!'

Maetel was a Princess no more, that much was true, but she was still Emeraldas' sister and a comrade. There would be nowhere in the universe where the vengeance of Space Pirates wouldn't have reached anyone who would've dared such things… and they would've known it!

As for what had happened to her before, the trials and tribulations of her eternal journey Maetel had never complained…. She'd never complained or even talked much about it.

'No, Maetel never said a thing…' Harlock thought. 'We all knew that her path would be the hardest of all, but Maetel knew that if Emeraldas had ever suspected that her life had been _that_ hard… there would have been no 'looking out for her from afar'. No, Emeraldas would have never left her side.' Maetel knew that and Harlock's admiration for her only grew.

He wanted to say as much to Emeraldas, but now was not the time. He knew there was only one person she would hear and he would bide his time until she was worn down a bit. 'Tochero was always shrewd with women that way,' Harlock mused.

There was nothing on Arcadia that Tochero was not aware of and he waited and watched Emeraldas move through the ship. He opened doors and cleared passageways guiding her, gently, toward him. He had to be cleaver about it because he knew well that she was not above blowing up or through things that got in her way.

When she arrived, he had one hard truth and a couple of talking points. The hard truth for Emeraldas to accept would be that Maetel had saved her from herself! That Maetel had allowed her to have a life: a life she wouldn't and couldn't have had otherwise. And for that, Emeraldas should be gracious and thankful….

Emeraldas loved Maetel but still, 'For Emeraldas,' Tochero thought, 'that just might be the hardest thing she's ever done!'

His first talking point was the approaching Darkness, but not his main one: they and their minions had to be stopped and so what were a few more corpses particularly if they needed and deserved killing? No, his main point would be that if Maetel hadn't killed 'them', whoever 'they' might be for 'whatever' they might have done, she probably wouldn't want Emeraldas to bloody her hands killing them either, at least not on her behalf….

At least Tochero hoped not. 'How tragic and sad,' he thought, 'if Maetels recent experience has left her cold, hard and vengeful in her heart….' Of course Tochero could have tapped into her dreams, but he didn't: as much as he loved Emeraldas he respected Maetel, and like Harlock, admired her too much for that.

Had he though, it would have allayed any and all concern: Maetel dreamed a simple dream of traveling with Tetsuro and Shashou-san on the three-nine. It was a new, different dream. In it, she didn't know where they were going, didn't know what they were going to do when they got there _and it didn't matter_! They talked and laughed and were comfortable together and happy. At first she didn't know she was dreaming because Nazca wasn't there. But then she remembered that she would see him again where the rings of time merged and that too would be fine, just fine. She knew that Nazca would be there waiting for her in the end because he'd promised….

Harlock was sitting in his chair on the bridge, brooding about what these new developments might mean for them all when Dr. Zero called saying that Maetel was awake. He then went looking for and found Emeraldas where he expected, but not how: she was sitting on the deck next to Tochero, surrounded by weapons and weeping. With much trepidation Harlock thought, 'Oh, what the hell is this!? She doesn't cry: she never cries…!'

Tochero, being himself, took a perverse enjoyment at his friend's obvious discomfiture a few moments before saying, "It's okay old friend: It's a hard thing to accept when there are just too many people to kill and not enough time to do it in…. Not with the Hand of Darkness approaching and all. Oh, and uh, did I hear correctly that Maetel's awake?"


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

Maetel awoke rested but hungry, very hungry. Dr Zero suggested that she take it easy and so she was eating a light breakfast that Monono Tadashi had provided when Miime came into the infirmary.

"Maetel-san, how do you feel?" Miime asked.

"For a long time," Maetel answered thoughtfully "something's been very wrong with me. But I feel much better: I really feel much better now."

"Your illness was caused by the residual effects from the Symbiosis Memory Storage Unit and a temporal causality loop with quantum shifting, or sliding, in your mind…."

"A causality loop and quantum shifting… sliding in my mind," Maetel repeated. Suddenly, it all made sense: the disjointed dreams, the confused incongruent images out of sequence. Maetel thought to cry out of relief that she wasn't and hadn't been insane but there was simply no emotion but acknowledgement. Acknowledgement and the pressing almost panicked question: "When, and in which reality am I…?"

Miime looked away saying, "I think we should wait until…"

"Miime, which reality am I in?" Maetel insisted.

"Maetel, the easiest answer is: we are all here, in this one."

Maetel sat back in silence. Miime paused to let the shock sink in before continuing, "You must play it by ear, Maetel. When things aren't… as you think, or feel, or remember them to be, you'll have to take a moment and just be yourself. The medication that Dr. Zero has developed will help you. It should deaden, or suppress all memories except those relevant to this reality, he hopes. It should also help you with your lack of 'assertiveness', he thinks. I wish he were more confident: he really is a good Doctor!"

"You mentioned a 'causality loop'…" Maetel asked.

"Yes, the first to figure it out were the Three-Nine and Queen Emeraldas but they kept the secret and have never revealed how many cycles have actually passed. Ryuz thought at least 20. She, Leryuz, Shadow and we think, many other mechanized beings became aware of what was happening but there's no way to know how many.

Tochero, on the other hand, was able to figure it out on his own. He told Emeraldas and together they told Harlock…"

"…and after that it wasn't much of a secret anymore." Emeraldas said as she and Harlock entered the Infirmary.

"A 'secret' can't be kept on this ship." she added to Harlocks chagrin.

"When you say that 'everyone' knew… Tetsuro…?" Maetel asked.

"No Maetel, Tetsuro didn't know. Actually, few un-mechanized humans across the galaxy did…" Harlock said.

"But some of us thought you did…." Miime added.

Maetel slowly shook her head, "No… I thought that… it was an eternal, never-ending journey. I didn't know that it was… I didn't know that we, that you, were trapped in it… too. If I'd known this… if you knew this, why didn't you come to me, someone come to me and tell me…?"

"You were the key Maetel," Emeraldas began, "nothing we did, or could do, seemed change anything. We dropped hints, but the story had to play out as it was destined to and nothing could change or alter it, but you. Moreover, it became obvious that as long as you _needed_ to continue to do it, we would be here to help you, comrades to the end."

Maetel asked, "Did Mother and Father know?"

"Maetel, they had to, but they never let on," Emeraldas said. "So Maetel, I have to ask, for all of us: what happened? Why did you finally break the cycle?"

"Do you remember the boy, the young man, my dearest friend who loved and died for me?" Maetel looked into her sister's eyes and said, "The _man_ who sacrificed his life for _me_!"

"Yes Maetel," Emeraldas smiled, "I remember him and I remember you hearing his voice rather than mine, too!"

"Yes Emeraldas, you do remember!" Maetel said smiling, "I loved him, you know? He came to me and I heard his voice again. You'll think it wrong, but he gave me leave: permission to stop. To walk, no, to run actually, away from the battle and to turn my back on the fight, our fight, our quest and that destiny. I wouldn't, I couldn't have done it without him. He told me to run. He told me to get on the train, and I did."

"Why couldn't you have stayed on La Metal?" Emeraldas asked.

Maetel looked at Emeraldas and said as a matter of fact, "It wasn't my planet, my home anymore: don't you remember, Leopard ordered my deportation? I couldn't stay there…"

Emeraldas was incredulous. "But that was… Leopard's been dead for… no one cares about any of that anymore…," Harlock and his crew who'd begun filtering into the room began laughing. Then Tochero's disembodied voice spoke saying, "See, I tried to tell you: rules, Maetel follows rules!"

"Be quiet," Emeraldas said to Tochero glaring about the room at no one in particular, "well we, I, turned the planet, the whole star system in fact, upside down searching for you. Why didn't you get in touch with me, or Harlock, or any of our old comrades?"

"I felt that I'd betrayed you," Maetel said. "That I'd failed you all somehow," looking about the room. "I couldn't help but feel that I was a traitor for running away. I thought you wouldn't want to see me, and I didn't want to burden you. I didn't try to hide, but, I didn't want to be found either. How did you find me by the way?"

Emeraldas struggled trying to formulate an answer, but the only thought that filled her mind was that Maetel thought that _she_ had failed _them, 'somehow'_! Harlock and Tochero watched and took silent note. Then, fortunately, a member of the crew handed Emeraldas a picture torn from a pulp magazine and broke the spell. It was a grainy black and white image of Maetel caught in mid-bite. Maetel laughed at seeing it saying, "I remember that moment: I wanted to kill the photographer!"

"Yes…. So did I…." Emeraldas said swallowing hard, looking away.

At this point Harlock stepped in and said, "Because of that picture we knew to look for you somewhere other than La Metal and the Heavy Melder system. We put out the word that we were searching for you and after a bit, the Railways Administrator here sent word: a very cagy fellow that one!"

Emeraldas, having recovered her voice added, "and no, Maetel: I don't think it wrong that you responded to Nazca's voice: I think it was right and just in time…." Catching herself suddenly, Emeraldas let her voice trail off….

"Just in time?" Maetel asked.

Emeraldas' face darkened and she looked farther away but Maetel reiterated, "Emeraldas, why just in time?"

"I'm sorry Maetel. I had wanted to wait until you were feeling better to tell you about this," she said, "but there is a new threat from an old enemy, an evil that's coming again to destroy us all. Not just us but the galaxy, the whole universe: the Metanoids. They knew of the causality loop and have used it, somehow, to prepare. We've had a new mission thrust upon us, a new quest: one that transcends light and darkness…. And you Maetel, you have a role to play if you wish it."

Emeraldas looked about her, seeking concurrence from their comrades. Finding it in the faces around her, she then added, "But only if you wish it, Maetel."

Maetel was pensive but looking up around the room at her sister, her friends and her comrades who had stood by her so loyally for so long she said quietly, "Comrades to the end."

Emeraldas looked at her sister for a long, hard moment, almost glaring. Then she said sternly, "Maetel, is this what _you_ want? Or are you being selfless and objective again? You are not obliged to be that way anymore, you know! You do not have to do anything that you do not _want_ to do, ever again! There are no rules for you: you are free! You can reinvent yourself as you wish and live for yourself and do whatever you want to do! You are free, except for one thing: you are not to die and don't you dare let anyone kill you!"

At that, Maetel smiled and touched Emeraldas' hand. She could see in her sisters' face and hear the plaintive cry in her voice and said, "This is my choice, my sister. We are Comrades: Comrades to the end! And no, I won't die or let anyone kill me."

"On our new mission, your new mission Maetel, you'll need help…." Harlock said.

"Oh yes, I'm sure, but whom…?" she said with a knowing smile.

"Maetel-san!" It was Shashou-san's familiar voice over the com-Link. "The Galaxy Express three-nine, an old friend, a new friend and I are at the station, waiting for you to arrive! But there's no rush: we'll depart as soon as _you're_ ready!"

Harlock then added, "Also, it seems preordained that you and Hoshino Tetsuro should run the rails of time together. He needs a bit of rescuing at the moment too… it's your destiny."

"It is my destiny…." Maetel repeated quietly. She looked for Miime making eye contact with her, but she said nothing and just looked back impassively.

Miime had said, 'You must play it by ear, Maetel. When things… aren't as you think, or feel, or remember them to be, you'll have to take a moment, and be yourself….'

'Well,' Maetel thought, 'I'll be off to rescue Tetsuro soon. I will be myself. But who is Tetsuro going to be…?'

 **FINI**


End file.
